Am I getting younger or older?

Ode to youth - ⓒ'Madrid 2009'

Happy birthday to me and many happy returns.

So that’s it! Usually I do not like to talk about myself but today is my birthday, so let’s go!

Am I really getting older? I imagine I am since no doubt about it, I’m turning 62 because I was born in 1948 and this is 2010.
But I’m not really sure even though I kind of get the idea the clocks didn’t stop ticking just for me.

Well, the main thing is that I cannot feel bad about getting older!

Another year added to my life, such a happy celebration...

Time no longer has the same meaning for me. For the past seven years, I’ve gone from one treatment to another, from one check-up to another, mostly feeling real sick or awfully exhausted without really noticing the years were passing by.

Lucky all this happened after 2000. I’d still be living in the XXth century for sure!

Seriously now, I do think I kind of lost track of ‘real-time-for-real-people’.

Maybe it’ll take many years before I do realize I’m aging... and then I’ll be such a very old lady. So much fun! (I do believe I am going to be a funny crazy old lady!)

I do not believe I’m getting younger either, don’t misunderstand me.

I’m a lot different from what I was in 2003 but I do not feel a bit older. Wiser probably. More alive certainly. But not older. Not older the way my friends around me start complaining about.

I feel different, that’s all.

I don’t care about white hair (which I wear proudly and very short to boot).

I don’t care too much about loosing my younger sylphlike figure even though I like to look good which I do, thank you so much! (‘If you want something doing, do it yourself’.)

I don’t care about the lines on my face because they show I laughed a lot which I still do. They mean that I lived, fought and survived!

I’m still very enthusiastic about learning new things every day. My awareness of the ‘outside’ world has expanded. So have my reactions to whatever happens around me. (Maybe this is getting younger, almost feeling like a teenager but without all the doubts and hurts going with that time of life, so rich and so difficult to stand sometimes.)

Teen Years - ⓒ'Montparnasse 2010'

That's it! I'm not getting older. I'm growing up!

Just about time!

*Good luck, and Good Night*

1 comment:

Layla said...

This post made me smile. You are a very lovely woman!